L0000_hero_honey bs: Let's see what old|queenie has tucked|away... aha, some|honey! I'll just|snag that! haiku: Is that candy? No.||Soda? No. Fruit? No.|Wax? No.||It is sweet honey any: What's this? I got|stung all those|times for lousy|honey? Give me a|break! L0002_bees Hey. Watch out,|there's bees|everywhere. You|might think about|getting some bug|spray to keep them|disoriented. L0002_hero_spray bs: Not a problem,|friend-o; those bees|mess with me and|they'll be in a|world of hurt. Where|did you say the bug|spray was again? haiku: Stealth and clever|tricks||Is the ninja way of|life||Where to find the|spray ba: How can I get|some? L0002_village There's some at my|village down south,|past Sunset. I'd|show you myself but|I have to hide out|and shoot some folks|if they walk by.|Have you met anyone|named Biss, Bah, or...|what was it... Poem? L0002_hero_no bs: Nope! haiku: Well-no not at all||No... no. I haven't|seen them||Even a little ba: Why do you wanna|shoot 'em? L0002_croutons ba: Oh there's a|secret deal going on|between us tree-folk|and the croutons...|very hush-hush. You|didn't hear this|from me but I|wouldn't be|surprised if that|insufferable Lady|Flower and her lot|aren't around too|much longer! any: Oh well; keep an|eye out! L0003_wolves Howdy, partner.|Billy said he saw|some wolves slinkin'|about, so keep an|eye out. Sneaky|devils, those|wolves! L0003_shootfast Out here in the|green pastures life|can be pretty rough|and tumble. Between|the wolves and the|bees ya have ter|shoot fast or die|tryin'. If yer|lookin' fer lessons|ol' Jeb can learn|ya. L0003_hero_jeb haiku: Jeb? Jeb did you|say?||Tell me more about|this Jeb||Where can he be|found? any: Jeb? L0003_nevermind Never mind, ya|don't look the type. L0003_aboutjeb Yep, ol' Jeb. He's|one acre over|eastwise. L0004_howdypilgrim Howdy, pilgrim.|This here's the|start of the green|pastures, loveliest|country ya ever|seen! We been havin'|some problems with|Trakktors lately-|would ya like ter|help out? L0004_sure bs: Those blue sucky|things? Sure, I'll|help. haiku: The Trakktors are|strange||They are blue and|they vacuum||So I will help you any: Whatever. L0004_mindyourbusiness Well I reckon ya|can help best by|mindin' yer own|business and movin'|along! We don't need|a bunch of strangers|makin' a fuss. And|we don't take kindly|ter sheep-rustlers|'round here neither! L0006_avacado Ich zerquetsche|Sie mag ein avacado! L0006_hero_sayagain bs: Exsqueeze me? haiku: What language is|that?||I am a simple Ninja||I don't understand any: How about I crush|your face, rock-|brain?! L0006_fixbridge Oh, so sorry! We|were on our way to|fix bridge when we|find tool shed|infested with bees!|Can you help us get|rid of bees? Middle|house. L0006_fixed Thank you for|getting rid of bees|long enough for we|to grab tools! We|fixed the bridge,|you can cross it!|Kreuzen Sie es, wenn|Sie sich trauen. L0008_findspray bs: Ah, some cheapo|bug spray. The label|reads: intoxicates|bees and other bugs|while providing a|full day's supply of|vitamin C! haiku: I take this bug|spray||And somewhere along|the path||The bees are|confused any: Bug spray. Can.|Cool. L0010_mattermitter bs: Wonder-Port 400|mattermitter:|activate! haiku: Oh see: a lever||I wonder what it|will do?||Why don't we find|out? any: Clear!!! L0010_foundmask bs: Here's a gas mask|shaped to fit... a|giant mouse head!|Weird! Fits okay on|me though. haiku: What hidden|meaning||And unspoken tragedy||A mouse head gas|mask any: Here's a gas mask.|I'll save it for|later. L0010_crate bs: What's this? A|bunch of ammo. Way|too big for my gun...|I'll leave it. haiku: A box of ammo||Extremely large|caliber||Not interested ba: Hmm, a crate of|Magnus .50 caliber|high-impact rounds.|Lock and load! L0105_hero_wrangling bs: Oh no way, there's|a wrangling iron|under the hive!|Score! haiku: What's that on the|ground||It's metallic and|twisted||A wrangling iron any: What the heck is|this under the hive?|It's a stupid|wrangling iron! L0103_shootinfast Jeb be my name,|shootin' fast be my|game. L0103_wrangling Jeb be my name,|shootin' fast be my|game. If ya want|ter learn I can|teach ya, 'ceptin'|I'm too worried|about losin' my|wranglin' iron ter|concentrate right|now. L0103_bs_where Okay first off|what exactly is a|wrangling iron? You|know what: never|mind. I don't want|to know. Just tell|me where this thing|is and I'll go grab|it for you. L0103_forest Well, thank ya|kindly! It so|happens I let it|drop beneath a bee|hive in the rainy|forest. L0103_bs_figures Bees. Typical. L0103_learn There's my|wranglin' iron!|Thank ya! Lemme|learn ya how ter|shoot fast. First ya|drawl like .this.|and then you shoot|like .that. Got it?|See ya round,|partner! L0103_honey My name's Lil' Ed.|I sure do love|honey! Lordy, but I|love that stuff! And|do ya know what the|best honey of all|is? Queen Bee honey,|that's right! L0103_hero_honeyresponse bs: I think I see|where this is going. haiku: Very interesting||I love sticky sweet|honey||And you love it too any: I'm more of a|saccharin person|myself. L0103_gethoney There's a lil'|hive up yonder|northwise, got some|good Queen Bee|honey. I've got a|snake bite kit fer|the feller brave|enough to get me|some o' that honey. L0103_snakebitekit Ya brought me some|honey! That there's|mighty good stuff.|Here's that snake|bite kit fer yer|trouble. L0103_seenyoubefore My name's Lil' Ed.|I sure do love... wait|a minute, I seen you|before. Hey, I|already gave ya a|snake bite kit - let|me be! L0106_heysonny Hey sonny yer|tearin' through here|a mite fast, ain't|ya? You'd best slow|down and watch out|for snakes; if you|don't have a snake|bite kit they're|deadly! L0106_hero_seethem bs: Hey yourself, old|dude. Did you like|see anybody come|through here just|now? haiku: I look for my|captain||A bag of flour,|kidnapped||By a begonia ba: Did you see a|begonia and a bag of|flour come through|here? The begonia|might have had a|gun. L0106_sure Sure! I seen Lady|Flower and her new|gentleman friend|strollin' through,|headed fer the|palace. Heard there|was goin' ter be a|weddin! L0106_headnorth To get on ter the|palace just head|north one acre and|then due east fer|four. You can't|scarcely miss it! L0108_sign "This is Landing|Zone +@@@. Press|start in a landing|zone to see its|coordinates." L0205_idiot Ein idiot sagt what? L0205_what bs: What? haiku: What was that you|said||I did not quite|understand||Your foreign|language any: You talking to me? L0205_forgive Oh forgive me! How|you say... the|bridge is out. I|wait for my friends|from Sunset Village|to help fix, but|they not come long|time. You tell them,|yes? L0205_okay bs: Sure. Eh, where's|this Sunset Village? haiku: I will tell your|friends||When I find Sunset|Village||To give you a hand any: Whatever. Which|way? L0205_west Just travel two|acres west, one|south. Yellow|houses, lots of|bats. Goodby, my|friend! Der|Auslander wird|vermutlich verloren. L0304_spores bs: Whoa, freakadelic!|These spores are|giving me a|headache; if it gets|any worse I might|need an oxy mask or|something. haiku: The silent fungus||Releasing spores in|the air||I should find a|filter any: Nrarg! Spores...|hurting head...|must... go back...|find... gas mask! L0405_ho Ho, miscreant!|Thou shalt not pass!|Milady's wedding|draws nigh and I|will not permit|scoundrels through|the gates. L0405_hero_reaction bs: Verily! Why don't|you get off your|high horse, drop the|oldskool guard|routine, and let me|sneak a peek at the|wedding? haiku: Please sir let me|pass||To stop that|wedding, perhaps||Another way in ba: Scoundrel?! I'll|show you scoundrel! L0405_final_word bs: Oh yeah? Well why|don't you just... stop|being a... stupid blue|guy and... go away! haiku: Are thine ears|shut?! Verily I say:|'tis no way in! The|west gate is closed,|and the east gate,|and so too the south|gate! any: Nay, stay thy|wrath, Barium. Me|and mine fellows far|outnumber thee and|would surely be|victorious in|battle. L0612_plan bs: Scary! This must|be where the armies|teleport in from the|Crouton Homeworld!|That control panel|on the far wall|looks promising... haiku: A sinister place||It is a teleport|chamber||I see some controls any: Nice teleport|chamber. Better blow|it up. Those|controls on the far|wall might do the|trick. L0612_clearance bs: Oops! Looks like I|need Zeta-level|clearance to use|these controls! I|could maybe forge a|Group 6 access but|that never works|right. haiku: Access is denied||I need high level|clearance||Like Zeta Clearance any: Grr... says I need|Zeta Clearance to|use these controls.|Looks like I'll be|visiting some|Crouton outposts! L0612_controls bs: Okay it's locking|on to Planet|Crouton. In 90|seconds I can jump|in one of these|stations and blow up|their generators|from the other side. haiku: In ninety seconds||I will enter a|station||Bound for Crouton|World any: Too many buttons...|okay... setting|coordinates for|Planet Crouton... blow|up the generators|real good. Better|get to a teleport|chamber... Delay of 90|seconds?! Roids! L0612_go bs: Here we go! haiku: I'm set for travel||To distant Crouton|Homeworld||It is beginning any: ...88 Mississippi,|89 Mississippi, 90|Mississipi! Let's|go! L0612_duke bs: Wait!|What's that? Oh no!|That stupid monkey|is messing with the|controls! haiku: An anomaly||Is there someone|tampering?||An orangutan any: Hold on... Someone's|screwing with the|controls! It's a|monkey! L0612_return bs: Ah, good old Kiwi|Firma! I guess|that'll stop the|teleporters for a|while and give those|grenade guys a|break! haiku: Haiku has returned||The teleporters|silent||Grenades have free|time any: I came. I saw. I'm|back. L0912_sign bs: Hmm,|"Monkey Library." haiku: Here's a little|sign||It reads "Monkey|Library"||That is what it says any: "Monkey Library."|Very cute. I hate|monkeys and I hate|reading. L0912_welcome Welcome, comrad,|to the Monkey|Homeworld. It's been|under Crouton rule,|but the monkeys are|revolting! L0912_hero_revolt bs: Yes they are! How|do you get out of|this joint? haiku: It's a nice planet||I must leave to|travel to||The Crouton|Homeworld any: This isn't the|Crouton Homeworld!|That's where I was|trying to go. L0912_justit That's just it:the|monkeys destroyed|the outbound|teleport generators!|What happened is|that my identical|robotic twin Patsy-|who's in the disco|right now-will time|travel into the past|twenty minutes from|now and start the|revolution! L0912_hero_losing bs: You're losing me,|doc. haiku: That sounds very|good||But I do not|understand||Any word you said ba: You're talking|jibber-jabber! L0912_killpatsy Just go into the|disco right now and|shoot Patsy in the|orange shirt! He|won't mind, and I|can fix him later!|Then you can|teleport to planet|Crouton! L0912_hero_brokenteleport bs: Hmm this rig seems|broken. haiku: In the teleport||I am vexed and|frustrated||It does not function any: This gimmick's|broken! That chaps|my hide. L0912_hero_startteleport_nopassword bs: Fire up this ride,|daddy-o! haiku: Set coordinates||For the Crouton Home|Planet||Bid monkeys goodbye any: Activate teleport! L0912_needpassword I'm sorry, you|need a password! L0912_hero_startteleport_password bs: Fire up this ride,|daddy-o!|Password is Gravy. haiku: Set coordinates||For the Crouton Home|Planet||Password is Gravy any: Activate teleport! L0912_ba_givepassword I'll give you a|password: shut up|and do it! L1000_needbomb bs: This gate is sooo|not jake. I'm gonna|need a really big|bomb or something to|blow it up! haiku: This is a huge|gate||And I cannot get|past it||Maybe a big bomb? grenade: Your end is|near, O evil|ones. I am the bomb! any: Gonna need a big|bomb to get through|here! Oh yeah. L1000_freeze bs: Hey! Back away|from the space ship,|General Wacko! haiku: You crazy crouton||If you know what's|good for you||You'll hold it right|there any: It's over, Gyro! L1000_toolate bs: Too late! And by|the way, it's|General "Gyro,"|though I suspect you|knew that! haiku: Too late! I'm|outta here! any: When monkeys|fly, BA! You're|too late; I'm outta|here! L1000_follow bs: Woo but he's|slippery! We have to|follow him! haiku: Gyro has escaped||We won't let him|get away||We will follow him any: It's never too|late. L1010_amking I am King|Grenade. Maybe|you need some help?|Maybe you want to|blow something up?|I am the bomb. L1010_cannotleave But I cannot|leave now. Every|day, more Croutons|teleport here from|their homeworld. You|need my help? I need|your help. Find the|teleport generators,|destroy them! L1010_readytogo You have|destroyed the|teleport generators!|I shall go with you,|help you now. I will|wait for you in your|space ship. L1012_hero_readbook "Monkeys and|Croutons have been|enemies since|ancient times. While|Croutons are|smarter, they're|also lazier. For|instance, 'Gravy'|has been the Crouton|password for over|four centuries now..." L1212_anytime bs: Get ready, gang.|That annoying|blue guy should be|coming through from|Kiwi any minute now!|We're ready for him|this time! haiku: Get ready, gang.|That weird green|guy should be coming|through from Kiwi|any minute now!|We're ready for him|this time! any: Get ready, gang.|That stupid red|guy should be coming|through from Kiwi|any minute now!|We're ready for him|this time! L1212_yeah Yeah! Yeah! L1212_makesure Just make sure|he doesn't make|it up North and blow|up the teleport|generators. L1212_suckstobehim Sucks to be him|when he comes|through this|teleport!