Instead of blasting away at all upstream resolvers at the same time,
make a timing plan upon reconfiguration and have each upstream have an
associated start delay, depending on the overall forwarding config.
So now if you have two or four upstream Google or Cloudflare DNS
servers (e.g. two IPv4 and two IPv6), we now usually only send a
query, not four.
This is especially nice on iOS where we start fewer DoH queries and
thus fewer HTTP/1 requests (because we still disable HTTP/2 on iOS),
fewer sockets, fewer goroutines, and fewer associated HTTP buffers,
etc, saving overall memory burstiness.
Fixes#2436
Updates tailscale/corp#2250
Updates tailscale/corp#2238
Signed-off-by: Brad Fitzpatrick <bradfitz@tailscale.com>